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Rumblings…

I have found myself unable to sleep tonight. I was so excited today because we had one piece of our journey ok’d and will be on its way for another ok tomorrow. Of course, this is probably a step that should have been done after several others, but that’s how our life seems to go. We do things backwards. Never seems to be in the correct order for us. Kind of looks like we skirt the system but really we don’t. It just so happens that we are able to jump in at whatever point and often have to back track a bunch. It’s never on purpose. Honest! It’s just where people say to us,”Get this into us” or “go here and we’ll take care of the rest later.” kind of things. So, that is really exciting for us. I know, this is still super cryptic! Not meaning for it to be, but until some paperwork is done, well, this is the way it must be. I’m hoping that K will finally have time to go with me to get all of the first parts of our paperwork notarized so it can all be turned in with fees. I’m ready! Then we can move on to the really big stuff and introduce our sweetness to ya!

I’m also excited about a mom I’ve “met” adopting from the same country as us! This is such a blessing to be able to watch her family travel the road we are headed down. Oh! I know it most likely won’t be the same but she will at least be able to give me some pointers on how to handle it all. They leave soon for their precious someone. So excited for them. Just thinking about it makes my heart leap! It really does.

I have to say, I thought to myself today, “Wow, satan’s really backed off of us. I guess we aren’t that big of a threat to him right now.”. No sooner did I think that, within an hour maybe, the arrows started flying. I got discouraged, still am a bit, but knowing who holds all of this stuff in his hands. I’m starting to worry about things I can’t change. Timing is the biggest one. I have to trust that God is doing all of this for our good and that it won’t matter in the long run. Sure, I’d like to not to have several things on my plate, but they are and that’s where they will stay until God deems it fit to remove them. All we can do is pray. So I pray. And I praise! God is good all of the time. He’s refining this messed up human by leaps and bounds. Of course, I keep getting in the way and messing it up again. Not really a great team mate am I?

I’ve been pondering this for awhile now and haven’t really come to a conclusion do I’m going to out it out there to see if anyone can give me an opinion or even some revelation. Why was Jesus’s first miracle at the wedding in Canaan and then there are so many references from that point on about weddings, bride, bridegroom, etc.. all the way through to Revelations? now that I’ve written this out, it’ll probably hit me square between the eyes. But I’m still interested in what y’all have to say. That’s just one of the things going through my head.

Here’s some things I’m grateful for tonight : ladybug chairs, blue eyed boys, cleaning the kitchen floor several times today, little boys who talk nonstop, little boys who ask a million questions, a little boy who crawls into bed for safety at night, for the colors of the rainbows, for answered prayers, for goodnight kisses, morning hugs, for opportunities to be a blessing, for conviction of heart, for taking thoughts captive, for not saying anything when there’s nothing nice to say, for the ability to choose to be happy, for encouraging words, for longtime friendships, for grumpy old men and women, for newborn cries, for windy nights, for sweltering days, for the ability to mourn, to love with passion, to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves

Good night. May the God of glory rest you well. May he fill each room of your home so full of his presence that it’s overflowing and overwhelming.

Laurie

Wife duty

Oh my goodness how life has been moving at the speed of light since we got here. I feel exhausted! Overwhelmed at times and yet nothing seems to be getting done. I’m still trying to get the house put together but because reimbursements had been delayed, purchasing things to replace the broken had been put on hold. So, boxes sat because I had no place to put the contents. Still have some that are not empty because I don’t know where to put them or things arent coming together like I’d hoped. That is just getting on my nerves! I think I am developing OCD in my old age. Things out of place just seem to get to me a bit more easily than they did a year ago. I have put up all but three curtain rods with curtains. I managed to put up a total of five things on the walls. There’s a LOT of space here but things don’t quite fit the way they have other places. So, it’s taking a bit longer on the picture hanging.

I don’t feel like we’ve even had a chance to catch our breath. From the day we moved in, life is on the go.

A couple of weeks ago was my first official military wife duty in a very long time. It was a meeting to inform families of the goings on. Nothing big. Nothing exciting. It was almost one of those moments of,”Why am I here?” Don’t get me wrong. It had purpose and it served it’s purpose. But some moments just beckon the why question. That was one. Then a couple of days later was another one of those military wife duty events. It was a luncheon and a posting ceremony. This one I actually enjoyed though I was a bit nervous about it. With new rank comes new responsibilities and when you’ve been out of the game for awhile, well… Then another luncheon. Now the invites are coming for things like book clubs and bunco parties and things I just don’t normally do but are expected. So, I’m learning how to gracefully bow out when it’s all too much. And it’s all too much right now.

I’ve also started back in the four year old class at church. Not sure what I was thinking on that one! Between 20-28 kids! Two adults and one teen helper! They are awesome but WOW! I have seen God’s hand in it though. There is a sweet little girl in this class that has stolen my heart. The cuddliest little angel sent from heaven. She’s nonverbal which is what our littlest guy is. You see, God knew my heart needed some encouragement in this area. I’ve been so nervous about what could be that he sent this angel to help me learn that its all going to be ok. We communicate fabulously. We as a family will learn not nly his native tongue to help with transition but also how to sign so we can understand him (and her) though he will understand us verbally.

I have found myself longing for this promised child. It’s so weird to me. Don’t understand it at all. I don’t feel panicked to move to fast, wanting to enjoy every step, yet, hating that he has to spend one more day away from brothers and sisters who want to teach him and a mom and dad who want to KNOW that all is ok in his world. To love on him unconditionally and with every part of our being. We have been blessed with news that our formal letter to be matched which needs to be sent to his government has been sent to our facilitator in country to see if there is anything that needs to be added, clarified, or rewritten before being submitted for an official match. That’s good news for us. We also know that there is at least one family traveling soon to his country to bring home their child. So excited. I cried when I heard that. Don’t know the family. Don’t know anything about them but this info and I cried like a baby when I heard the news. Lol. Can’t blame this on hormonal imbalance due to pregnancy.

Anyway, fundraising continues. That has gone well until now. We are at a bit of a stand still. We have 8 of the Rebekah Blocher necklaces left from round two. Still selling the trivets and coaster sets. Trying to get myself to pull out my sewing machine to start on those things. I’m procrastinating on that until I have the rest of my curtains up and a few more things on my walls before I do. I know that sounds strange but if I don’t, I won’t get my house looking like a home and we need that as a family. Once I start sewing, I don’t usually stop for much. Schooling the kids, fixing dinner and sleep are about it all I will stop for once I begin. Late hours and not much sleep during those days. You see, I won’t stop until I can get our boy home. “A” needs to come home. That’s all there is to it.

We would appreciate your prayers for several things. The biggest is the sale of our home in Texas. We would really like to see that one gone from our plate. Two, for our littlest guy- protection, his heart to be prepared for us when we finally get there. Three, for us to be able to fly through our homestudy, and all the paperwork, etc… That comes with adopting. And of course for finances. God is good! We trust him in all things. He has this we know. I’m just telling these mountains, it’s time for them to crumble and be tossed into the sea.

Have a great night! May God rest you as you wait on him for answered prayers.
Laurie

Button update

My apologies for not posting the last several days.  Spent some time with my family on Saturday going hiking then stuff around the house.  I’ll write about that later.  Trying to do some stuff around here this labor day since I gave the kids a day off from school. 🙂

Do have a quick update.  Apparently there have been several people who have tried to donate through the chipin on the STWTHE blog and it wasn’t working.  Well, after a couple of attempts to fix it, I just made it a donate button instead with out the counter.  So, hopefully that fixed it.  Thank you to those of you who brought it to my attention.  Not sure what is going.  Ok, yes I do.  Our little guy needs to come home and satan doesn’t want him home.  But my God is bigger and he stomps on his head every chance he gets. 🙂

Have a blessed labor day!!!  May it be filled with lots of love and fun.

Not feeling it today.  Allergies are in overdrive with the lawn maintenance being done.  Woke up not feeling all together with it and with this….  Oy!!!!  I’m moving super slow and the allergy meds just don’t want to kick in. 

On a better note, things are moving!!!  We have a glorious God who loves us even more than we could imagine!!!  So thankful for the blessing of having Him as my ABBA.  He has blessed us with the purchases of in our first fundraiser to bring our little guy home!!! We only have five (5)! necklaces left.  That’s amazing since we just started selling them Monday!!!  We are stoked about this.  I know the necklaces alone won’t do to bring him home but it’s a start.  I  need to get started working on other things to add the funds.  $30k is a LOT of money.  I also need to finish up some much needed paperwork and get it all in with some payments.  Kind of overwhellmed with all of it to be honest.  Paperwork.  Moving.  Unpacking.  Homeschooling. Being wife. military wife at that.  Mother.  Cheif fundraiser. Trying to find our new normal that is actually temporary.  I mean we will be adding to our family here,   Lol.  Not complaining just trying to find my rhythm.. Haven’t found it yet.  It will come as I lean into Jesus more and more. 

Trying to be more like the Mary of Martha and Mary.  Trying to sit at the feet of Jesus and choose what is good, the best and not worry about all of the other stuff.  Which has been hard.  I have found myself worried about many worldly things that have no eternal significance because of where we are.  It’s not where I need to be.  Not what I need to be concentrating on.  Eternal significance will be investing in where God’s heart is.  With the orphan.  The widow.  The foreigner.  The unbeliever.  The broken.  The lost.  The unwanted.  Making sure I train up the children I have been entrusted with to love all of these and show the love of Christ in such a way that all they can see is Jesus. 

Ok, thanks for the pep talk!!!  Still not feeling great because of the allergies but at least I can go tackle the paperwork.  :)  gotta get a little one home!!!!  And YES!!!  IT’S A BOY!!!!🙂

We are amazed

at how many sweet friends of friends are stepping up to help us to adopt.  Just through word of mouth, we are being blessed with sweet words of encouragement and this morning we were blessed with selling 7 of the Rebekah Blocher necklaces that we have on our seeingtheworldthroughhiseyes.blogspot.com site within ONE HOUR!!!!  We are so excited this morning.  We want to say THANK YOU for your generosity and more importantly for your sweet and kind words.  It is encouraging this momma’s heart as she thinks about her sweet little boy waiting for us to come get him.  We still have a long way to go before we can get him.  Satan is working against us but the one thing I know more than ever is God is for us and he has gone before us to fight this battle.  We just need to rest in him. 

Aunt Holly!!!!  you are more a part of this sweet little boy’s story than anyone will ever realize.  When I have doubted that the day would come, you never did.  When I was ready to give up, you prayed harder.  When I said I would support others, you said Ok but always reminded me of the promises of God that he spoke so many years ago.  You have never let me forget.  You have never allowed me to sit idle.  When I doubted that he was ours, you prayed and God showed you what I needed to move forward.  So, thank you!!!  I am amazed by your faith, perseverance and obedience.  I love you and I thank you.  I’m proud to call you sister and best friend.

Again, thank you to all of you who are supporting our journey.  Without you, our youngest little man would sit and wait for his mom and dad to come get him to bring him home!!!

WOOHOO!!!  It’s time to work on bringing that sweet little home!!!  So our fundraisers are up and running on facebook as well as my other blog http://seeingtheworldthroughhiseyes.blogspot.com/p/adoption-fundraiser.html    So come check us out!!!  We might just have something that you will LOVE!!!!!

I’ve started and restarted this post several times in the last few minutes (now days). I know what I want to say and yet I really don’t know how to put it into words or where to even start. So, I’ll start with this. This blog wasn’t going to be an open blog. It was going to be a place where I journaled our yes to do anything for Jesus and maybe allow a few people in on the journey. I think I’m a pretty private person. Maybe private isn’t the word. Maybe a more accurate word should be guarded. I’m careful about who I let in and what I say. Maybe it’s the hurts of the past, maybe it’s just not trusting Jesus enough to be enough when the world decides to aim their arrows at me or my family. Often times hitting the bullseye- you know, the most vulnerable area in your life. Each one of us is different so that place will be different. Mine tends to be acceptance. I’ve always been a people pleaser, so opening myself up to criticism by opening this blog up to the world to read was a big risk. But the biggest reason for not wanting to have this an open blog, is my selfishness. There are parts of this story that only a few know. Someday I will share those details but for now, they are treasures that my family and I and those involved are privy to. They are details that I have treasured up in my heart and marvel at God, how he works and his perfect timing.

I’ve been thinking a lot about why I decided to go public. I have to say that it has been fun in sharing how we got to this point. For our friends and loved ones to share in the excitement of our journey. Then there’s Jesus. If we want to make an impact for his kingdom, then there’s a risk I, we, my family have to take in opening up our lives as living testimonies as to what God is doing. We have to be willing to share the ups and downs, the what seems impossible to us but not to him moments, the miracles, the heartbreak, the frustration, the happiness, the moments where it’s hard to be thankful and everything in between. We have to honor the God we serve with every moment of this journey. And it won’t be easy. By sharing this with you, we are opening ourselves up to criticism for our fundraising efforts, why a child from whatever country and not this country, or the why do you need another one? And who knows what else. No, I’m not ready for those comments to come. No, I’m not quite certain how I will respond to them. No, I don’t know if I will hand them over to Jesus in the quickest amount of time to deal with instead of me mulling them over and over in my mind, getting angry, and having to repent after being human.

What I do know is this… I can allow everyone else to dictate what I do and don’t do. But I won’t. You see, I can’t remember how long it’s been since I’ve prayed this prayer. Though its been awhile and continues to be the cry of my heart. I’ve prayed to be used by Jesus. I’ve prayed to do ANYTHING for him. No matter what it is. No matter what the journey entails. No matter the distance. No matter what others might think or say. I have chosen to do ANYTHING for Jesus. That includes going and adopting the child God has chosen for our family. People won’t understand. Extended family won’t be excited or even on board with what we are doing. And I’m ok with that. I don’t owe them an explanation. All I know is we have to be obedient to the One. I AM is the one I will have to stand before in the end and give an account as to why I obeyed His calling or not.

I’ve actually had these thoughts,” Can we go get our child without telling any extended family? Will it really be all that easy to add a child to our family without anyone noticing?” We have actually thought about trying it. Then announcing it through one of those games like, what’s different in this picture? Or do you see what I see? Or where’s Waldo? You know, kind of like the uncle in the Blindside movie asking who the other kid was in the family photo?😉 We won’t do that! I really am just kidding. We are honored that God would choose our family to walk this path. We know that family and friends will have their concerns and they will be well-meaning. I just also know, that I am a momma with a fierce momma’s heart and will take exception to those questions because that’s what this momma does when it comes to her children and the call of God. We would not be stepping out in faith, adopting if it wasn’t God’s will.

When I felt God say this had to be an open blog (and yes I balked and prayed some more hoping I hadn’t heard him right!), knowing I, we had to be willing to show you his glory through our journey, my only answer that would be acceptable to Him was,”Yes. Anything for you Jesus!”